up close and personal

... with the bcbg dress

the more i think about this dress the more i think i want it. (it's not even think, i know i want this dress. However, i don't know if i'll still want it later.... decision, decisions.)

bcbg dress love

$298

boots & a dress

oh my gosh...love, love, love. {it's in the fall, the leaves and the {to die for} boots}

these pictures make me not care as much if it rains on our wedding night.

see more here [& u should]

via

gaga for j.crew gowns

[sale]$299
[debating on a black gown or using my other idea, to purchase a wedding gown that can be dyed black after the wedding]
$395

$425
$450

$595
$650
$750
[love this one but they are sold out. it would of been way out of my budget anywase (over a thousand). i'm thinking of using this as an inspiration piece for a custom made gown]

*i ideally don't want to go over $500, however, if i can dye it black afterwards, i could raise that to $1000

dresses via

we're engaged!!!

PHEWW...
ok... hmm.. where to begin?....

i did so much today. since i'm having a hard time editing it down for this post, i'm gonna relive(write) this whole day with you. (whoever YOU are).

i woke up early today to finish my last christmas gift project. while i was taking care of this i called dee (my besty) to fill her in on the itinerary for the day. i shared with her that i was nervous about asking ro's mom for her blessing. dee was able to pep talk me into being ok about it. as soon as i hung up with dee, i called auntie grace (ro's mom). of course she was busy and could only see me at the office in town, she also asked if i could bring her something she needed from ro. (i knew this would be a little speed bump in my plan but i had to tell her i could). when i mentioned to ro that i was going to collect from him what his mom needed he got suspicious. he immediately started asking me what i was up to and that i better not be proposing to him. (he only had a heads up on the "possible" situation because i am HORRIBLE at surprises and have been warming him up to the idea of me proposing to him) he was so serious and adamint about me not asking him that i thought about how i could get out of meeting with his mom. a couple of thoughts later i realized that i was too deep into it and that i really wanted to carry on with my plan (regardless of his opinion that men are supposed to ask) i decided to make sure that i try to limit my conversations with him all day so i wouldn't get stuck listening to him try to scare me out of my idea. After i finished up with my errands, I went back home to cook us breakfast and to get what his mom needed. our breakfast conversation seemed to go back to him pleading with me to get the idea of proposing to him out of my mind because it's a mans job to ask, blah blah blah, is what i heard, i got really good at ignoring the talk i didn't want to hear. :) the only person who would have the power to make me reevaluate my plan was his mom.

so, after breakfast i headed to town to meet up with his mom. this was by far the most anxiety filled event of the day (besides the actual proposal). on my way there i spent my drive filling in ash (good friend) on the events. before i got to aunty grace's office i was playing over in my head how to present the question..statement... idea.... i settled with reassurance. i knew already the thoughts that were going on in her head of why i needed to see her in person (like pregnancy, breaking up, etc, etc.) i'm sure she was more then relived to learn that all i wanted was her blessing to ask her son to marry me. she was nothing but supportive and happy for us. her positive reaction was the very thing i needed to feel amazing about my decision (i had already felt good about it, but didn't want to get my hopes up to high just in case his mom didn't approve)

my appointment to pick up the ring was for 4 o'clock on the north shore at foodland by pupukea. i didn't want to be late so i headed there right after i left the office. i also changed my plan on how i was going to propose. my new plan was to take a picture of the, "will you marry me?", question in the sand at the beach that my mom's ashes were scattered at, then go to yanagi's (ours and his uncle rainer's (his uncle that he was really close to that happened to pass away a few months after my mom passed) favorite restaurant) and give him that picture there. i really liked this new plan because it incorporated both his uncle and my mom.

i got to the north shore really early so i spent sometime with my mom and took care of the proposal polaroid. when i got to the beach the sand looked like it was a blank canvas and that it was waiting for me to propose in it. it was like my mom, gods, forces, or whatever and whoever, prepared it just for me.




i met up with david from sea babe jewelry at 4 to get the ring. the ring wasn't exactly what i thought it was gonna look like, (because i messed up the order) but it didn't bother me much. i figured i'd roll with it. after reflecting on all of this, i realize that i am happy with the hammered finish as opposed to the smooth.

once i had the ring in my possession i knew it was gonna be hard for me to not spill the beans before yanagi so as soon as i got home i took a nap. before i fell asleep ro informed me that he didn't feel good and that he felt like he was getting sick (ohhh, ohhhh... i knew that that meant he was going to be grouchy.)

As suspected, he was a grouchy face! i did everything in my power to just roll with it to prevent an unneseccary fight. (success!!! there was no fighting) after we ordered and our beer arrived, i handed him THE polaroid. it was then that i started to tear and he said yes.


and that's my story.

wed. advice: photography

"Your wedding photographer will probably try to convince you to do two hours+ of portraits before the ceremony. He wants you to be able to go straight to the reception after the ceremony, but he also wants to capture the first moment you see each other in your wedding garb without any pesky wedding guests in the way. What you get is those incredibly stagy "first look" photos, where the bride and groom just end up looking like they're posing.

Come on. You're nervous. You're about to get married. And then you're supposed to turn and look at each other and be all lovestruck and amazed while pretending there's not a camera pointing at you?

You're robbing yourself of the (trust me) incredible moment of seeing each other for the first time at the altar. Or the arch or the stump or whatever. And you're robbing your guests of the joy of seeing you see each other for the first time.

For fuck's sake, please just take a little time to do portraits after the ceremony. They'll come out much better because you will be SMILING YOUR ASS OFF. You'll barely notice the camera. (Trust me.)"

great advice. thanks ESB. i've been seeing all these great wedding pics and yes, they are beautiful but some just don't ring true. they look so perfect that they could be mistaken as a magazine photo shoot). i suppose there is nothing wrong with that, BUT, i personally appreciate the candid, off the wall pics more because they are capable of capturing that exact magical moment.

(i'm sure i'll be guilty of some magazine photo shoot pictures too when i get married, he he)

a list

1. clean your desk or work station or kitchen table
2. wash your car or at least clean the inside
3. make thank you cards in advance for people who gave you a xmas gift you weren't expecting
4. donate a gift
5. make some cookies for a random person you deal with often for errands (i.e. mail person, bank teller, bartender, barista, etc.)
6. make love
7. make use of your netflix account and watch a new movie or old fav
8. make your bed
9. blog a list like this
10. call some friends you haven't spoken to in awhile

*i have no idea why cleaning kept popping in my head while i was making this list.

{inspired by this rad lady}

butterflies...

because the ring:


is bought!


OMG... this is really happening. {he's gonna kill me for asking him}

winter wonderlands

though i've always spent my christmas's in places with warm climates with no snow, i still feel in my heart that christmas isn't a real christmas without a winter wonderland. i am looking forward to the christmas that ro and i can spend it in a winter wonderland.

images via

proposal idea #1

{this camera}
+

{a polaroid that asks, will you marry me?}
+

{at this beach, written in this sand}
=

{the proposal}