secrets to a happy marriage

"Last word to the wise--everything is a negotiation and agreement. Remember that there are two parties in the relationship, and together you're so much greater than the sum of your parts. When you're headed out to see District 9 instead of Julie & Julia, you may just find that the action flick is exactly what the doctor ordered."

- Brooke Williams and Josh Liberson

"When you're married, your partner's pain becomes your pain. You long to carry the weight of the world for each other. When he has a tough day at work, I want to march down to his office and battle his demons. When I would rather jump off a cliff than compose yet another blog post, he wishes he could write in my stead. But you can't do everything for your partner, nor should you diminish each other's self-sufficiency.

So, instead, we find small ways to lighten the other's load. I can't sit through his boring five-hour conference call but I can pick him up at the train station and give him a big hug. He can't scour the web for the ten best ottomans, but he can bring me a mug of hot tea and some fuzzy socks. Small tokens of unsolicited support make a big impact and say, 'I love you, I'm proud of you, I think you're doing a great job.' At the end of the day, isn't that all we want to hear anyway?"

- Anne Sage

"Take a mini-moon. Frequently. Mini-moons originated with my parents who were married between the fall and winter break in college, and so didn't have time for a proper honeymoon. To make up for it, they took little vacations they called "mini-moons," where they would leave their six kids in the hands of a capable babysitter and spend a weekend away."

- Brooke Reynolds

"My husband and I have been married for only four months, but before we were married we took a nearly four-month backpacking trip to Thailand. Even though we had been together for years, we learned so much from the experience. So my advice is: Take adventures! No matter how big or small your adventure, you'll plan together, be spontaneous together, and create wonderful memories from the ups and downs."

- Ellie

""Love your other how they need to be loved, not how you need to be." A friend told me this simple mantra, saying that it had transformed his parents' marriage. It has stuck with me ever since. It makes so much sense and yet is so easy to forget because I think by nature we tend to be pretty selfish. Love is selfless, though, and what truly makes me happy is when my husband is happy. So, a key to a good marriage is trying your best to focus on what your significant other needs you to be to him, instead of what you want him to be to you."

- Anna Bond

*these are all {advice&pic} via cup of joe